Lucy Guilbert-Neal '25
Ben Williams joined the Cate community twenty five years ago. Before he came to Cate, he grew up in boarding schools his entire life, being born on the third floor of a dormitory at a boarding school in Connecticut. Mr. Williams followed his father’s footsteps who had been a teacher and then a head of school at a boarding school. Like many of us, he left home at the age of 14 to go to a boarding school called Westminster School in Simsbury, Connecticut.
Although he thought he would spend the rest of his life living and working at schools, the woman he met at his freshman orientation at Williams College, and fell in love with, was going to New York. Her name was Ginger, and he immediately “ …knew she was the one.” He decided to follow her to New York, hoping to one day marry her, so he became an investment banker for a few years. She eventually said yes, and then he became a teacher, returning to the life he always knew he would live at schools. The two have shared a life together since they were 18.
He gradually began to move west, taking teaching positions outside of Boston in Massachusetts, Texas, and then came to Cate in 1998. Since his first year at Cate, he has believed that his duty as the head of school is to “help Cate be or become the Cate we want to be, live out our mission, and live up to that great line from William Shepard Biddle about ‘a steadfast light in a troubled world….If people look back and say ‘Cate had a clear sense of itself when Ben Williams was there,’ then I will feel good about that.”
When asked “What do you love most about Cate?” he responded with a chuckle and said, “That’s easy, it's the people, I mean it’s the things we do together, the unforgettable moments, the ones that remind you you’re part of something bigger, something meaningful, something that never really ends.” To that end, his favorite Cate tradition is Sunset Ceremony because, as he explains, “I just think it’s so genuine, so unique, and I just love watching everybody greet each other.”
In Gigi Geyer’s recent servons talk, she talked about her “love and hate list.” Mr. Williams decided that he couldn’t share a “hate list,” saying, “I think every moment has its value, even the unwelcome ones, so I don’t have one of those.” He added, “My love list though; the break of day on the mesa, the fog when it creeps like fingers into the valleys below us, the greetings at assembly, the sincerity and poise at servons speeches, the way we begin the school year, the way we end it, those are the things I love.”
Another love of his is his favorite Cate meal. He shared, “Okay, this is kind of embarrassing, but hot dogs. I’m a hot dog fan. I can’t help it. But I don't go with the chili, I’m a mustard and ketchup kind of guy on my hot dogs.” He loves art and culture, Florence being one of his favorite cities in the world. He is a fisherman so he often finds himself traveling “where the fish are.” He is not afraid to admit that he loves his campus nicknames, Big Ben, Banjo, B Dubs. He loves spending his time watching Cate students compete and is an avid Boston sports team fan when rooting for the big leagues. In high school, he played soccer, hockey, tennis, lacrosse, and later, in college, he continued playing soccer and even rowed on a crew.
In case anyone was trying to curate the ideal Ben Williams playlist, you are in luck. Some of his favorite songs include “Home” by Phillip Phillips, “Romeo and Juliet” by Dire Straits (Him and Ginger’s song from when they were in college), “Colder Weather” by Zac Brown Band, “Rain King” by Counting Crows, “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong, and “The Weight” by The Band.
When asked to choose one thing he can’t live without, he responded, “wide open spaces. Nature. That’s what I love about the West. Like you, I began my life on the East Coast, but the West is home. I just love the space and the wildness of the West.” After about 23 times going on the Kern River outings week trip, you could say he is a fan. He expressed “That wilderness just speaks to me, and I just love the way we are out there. It’s hard, which means we get to know each other better.” He recently met up with an alum who he went to Kern with in the early 2000s to reminisce on their time together. He remembered that “We woke up one morning by the Kern River and I said to him ‘John, look around you. Just breathe it all in. What do you think, isn’t this great, doesn’t this feel great?’ and his answer to me, I’ll never forget it, he was a sarcastic guy, but he looked around and said “actually Mr. Williams, I think this is what it feels like to be homeless.’” To this, Mr. Williams recalled responding “John, you don’t get it yet.”
When reflecting upon his fondest Cate memories, he is beyond thankful for everyone who was involved with his children, who attended Cate, and the incredible support of families and alumni during the Thomas Fire and the debris flows when Cate was in such need of help. He remembers the time when Mesa House became a dorm because Cook House West flooded and so we had a whole bunch of upperclassmen boys living in Mesa House. “There was this incredible moment some years ago when Farida Tahiry '18 was a student at Cate. Farida came to us from Afghanistan and that previous day, it was during the Trump Presidency, the US had dropped some massive bomb on some portion of Afghanistan and Farida stood up in assembly and talked about what that meant to her. I will never forget that.” There isn’t a place on Cate’s campus that doesn’t spark a memory for him.
The Tennyson quote outside of the chapel posits “And year by year, memory fades from all the circle of the hills.” This has not been Mr. Williams’ experience. He believes memory doesn’t fade, which is the reason he finds every spot on campus memorable in their own unique ways.
In the next chapter of his life, Mr. Williams looks forward to “The luxury of time. That’s one of the challenges [of life at Cate], I’m sure you feel it too, everybody does, we just don’t have any time, really, to ourselves, nothing that’s discretionary, and so I’m looking forward to just being able to decide what my day looks like and not have it already decided for me. ” Leaving is bittersweet. He expressed that he will miss “being a small part of all of this. I don’t think there is any more important or meaningful work in the world than education. It’s great to feel like you are contributing to something important.”
He will also miss his favorite spots in Carpinteria and Santa Barbara: the Seal Rookery, the Bluffs, Rincon Beach with its tide pools, the Douglas Preserve, and of course, The Spot. When asked if there was any story or memento that he has not yet shared with the student body through a speech or story, he said “I think one of the things, at least doing what I do, I think it’s important that people know who I am, so I spend a lot of time trying to tell them. And hopefully they conclude, as a result, that I am just like everybody else. I think the challenge about being the head of school sometimes is that people see you as ‘the head of school, they don’t see you as Ben Williams or Lucy Guilbert-Neal, or whoever it is, and so part of the reason I share what I do is I want people to understand the humanity in all of us. I think that makes us better community members.”
Ben Williams will not be the only one missing something. Cate School will miss him more than he knows. His contributions to this community are immeasurable. He has left students and faculty with something to work towards, a community we yearn to serve. Community members were eager and willing to share what they will miss most about Mr. Williams. Emmett Mack ‘23, someone who has been a student at Cate for almost 4 years and has lived on Cate’s campus even longer, responded, “I'm going to miss how personable he is. He always knew what was going on in my life and he always took the extra steps to show he cared.”
Charlotte Brownlee also responded, saying, “Most of all, I will miss the way he takes pure delight in all our students. He loves watching you all do your thing - whether on stage, at assembly, in sports - he is your biggest fan. I love the way he sees boarding school as a time to try, sometimes fail, and become the person you are meant to be - and he supports you all along the way. That is a rare perspective and I will miss it. And of course I will miss his loud laugh during Servons, his willingness to show off his goofy dance moves, and his updates on the latest bad movies. His heart is so big, and he has poured so much of it into Cate. How lucky we are.”
The current school president, Liz Sutter ‘23, shared, “I'll miss Mr. Williams' guidance and his pearls of wisdom the most. I'll also miss hearing him laugh when no one else does in servons and assembly, it always makes me laugh.” Jay Dorion, someone Mr. Williams worked very closely with for many years, said, “What I will miss most about Mr. Williams is seeing him at sporting events cheering for Cate teams, hearing his big-hearted laugh at Servons Talks and assemblies, listening to his speeches about his family and upbringing on a boarding school campus, and knowing that when you knock on his office door, no matter who you are, you are going to get his undivided attention.”
Frank Griffin, a beloved member of this community, who has seen Cate even before Ben Williams became headmaster, maintains that "All of us know the public Mr. Williams with his distinctive, deep laugh that everyone in the room can hear… those of us who have been here for his entire 25 years are also aware of the countless hours behind the scenes that often go unnoticed. There have been literally thousands of closed door meetings listening and responding to concerns, hundreds of planning meetings for the future of the school, and countless hours writing and then honing his rhetoric for the many required public speaking engagements. Mr. Williams has responded to and even averted many crises of all sizes that are often never known except perhaps by a few… For everything we have seen and for all that went unnoticed, we will always be eternally grateful."
As he often does with many of his speeches and stories, he left the interview with some advice for all of us as we navigate through the rest of our Cate tenure and beyond. He said, “Be patient, make it yours, and remember that everything that happens to us has value, the good and the seemingly not so good.” Mr. Williams has impacted all of us individually in different ways over the duration of our Cate experiences, and most of us cannot imagine the school without him. We will miss him dearly and we hope that he continues to spread his knowledge, wisdom, and contagious chuckle with the rest of the world as he ventures into the next Chapter of his life. Thank you for everything, Mr. Williams. You will be missed more than words can describe.
Great job on this article, Lucy!