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Writer's pictureMyla van Lynde

Cate Cuisine Critique: Fall Edition

Updated: Dec 13, 2022

Oliver Dworsky '23


 

“I ain’t trying to mess up my digestion” — Local foodie


Many students at Cate probably hear something along these lines at least a few times a week. A few weeks ago, this sentiment was expressed over the lasagna served at lunch. Many will recall the chunky red meat and questionable pasta making somewhat of a surreal impression. The combo is undeniably classic and usually a beloved recurring meal among many Cate students. I found myself contemplating the similarities between the pair and a couple who had fallen in love young, maybe highschool sweethearts, gotten married, perhaps had kids together (maybe a green bean or two), and growing old together. Then, at some point the couple found themselves drifting apart and not talking as much as they used to, their love fading as their hairs began to gray. There was some indescribable disconnect between them, and though they sought counseling, the presence of the sauce was not enough to save the lack of cohesion between their characters. Ultimately, 5/10.


Grilled cheese. What is not to love? Yellowish cheese wedged between the soft flesh of whole wheat bread, even a little bit of a cheese pull can be produced if you are lucky. I grab three of the bacon, and two of the tomato, stacking one of each sandwich to experience both with a virgin tongue. One bite, and I feel like I am transported to a land far away, in a different reality than ours. A Seussian twist of food, where cheese is made in a lab after all the cows are cut down with axes (like the trees in Thneedville). I am not taken aback by this artificial flair to my cheese, and I find myself embracing it after a fifth sandie. I feel almost like a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world— I can recall that life in plastic, it's fantastic. Therefore, 7/10.


Now for a short poem:

I love my burger

Flesh flaps and alien skin

Mouth like pearl harbor

Shark meat without a fin


Happy eatings! If you are eating, I’m watching.



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