Oliver Dworsky '23
Tamales
It’s tamale day—steam pours out the Booth Servery doors, lifting me off my feet like a Looney Toons character drifting towards the allure of sweaty corn socks filled with joy. I am brought down to earth again as I reach the self-serve counter, grasping the tongs with quaking hands. I pick out a child to adopt, lifting it up with all the tenderness of a stork carrying a baby, before letting it fall gently into place on my plate. It turns out to have a brother, delivered shortly afterwards to the same doorstep. A light coat of grease under the plastic-wrap membrane serves as its flavor-packed discharge. I peel it off, revealing the new-baby scent we all love. It’s such a cutie. I take a bite; the mushy texture coats my tongue with delectable flavor. I chew, but I still choke anyway as I try to shovel it down my throat to get another mouthful as soon as possible. In an instant my children are gone, kidnapped to the realm of my stomach without a trace. 9/10.
Mongolian Beef
It’s festive really; the pink and green meat mountain on the platter certainly makes an impression. I scoop a pile atop some rice, and scurry away. I sit down amongst my peers, wondering who dares to take the first bite. One goes for it, and we all follow suit shortly after. It doesn’t taste bad, but my stomach wails out in finality as I finish—the beef is possibly the grinch who stole my bowel health. But still, it’s saucy, meaty, and texturally ambiguous. 6/10.
Meatless Sunday
All I’m saying is that if Deeg says 50% of all carbon emissions caused by food come from meat, 50% must come from non-meat. 0/10—Meatful Monday?
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