Tatiana von Bothmer '23
In the fall of 2019, Nicole Teh ‘23 immigrated from Hong Kong to California in pursuit of a boarding school education. While she was forced to experience racism and feelings of unfamiliarity in the process, she took bits of her Chinese heritage with her from one world to another and found home in the hills of Carpinteria.
Nicole was born on June 23, 2005, in Singapore. In an interview on May 8th, 2023, Nicole describes how she has very fond memories of growing up there; she had an idyllic childhood with a nice house, nice friends to spend time with, and nice things to do. Following her father’s work, at the age of six, the Teh family moved to Hong Kong, where Nicole spent elementary and middle school. Nicole states that it was very welcoming there because there was a whole international community waiting for them, which is pretty standard for Hong Kong. She describes the city as a “metropolis; cosmopolitan, international, and busy,” with tall buildings and a heavy work and academic culture, and with lots of pressure to be successful in school and practically in anything you do. She says that in the city, there are two communities: international families who come there for work and who speak English or other languages, and local communities who are born and raised there and speak Cantonese. Nicole grew up in the international community, filled with families from the UK, U.S., Australia, and other parts of Asia, where everyone pretty much knows each other. She expresses how it was often hard for her to feel like she belonged in the other community because she didn’t know the local language and would have to explain why she appears Chinese but doesn’t speak Cantonese. However, while she explains how the two communities are pretty separate due to language and wealth differences, she acknowledges how food has served as a beneficial way to bring them together.
Sponsored by Cate School in Carpinteria, California, Nicole came to the U.S. when she was 14 for boarding school. She received a Student Visa F1, where she sent a form to the U.S. embassy in Hong Kong to be approved for a Visa, a four-month process similar to the one she will use for her Visa for college. Nicole relates how it was always a family plan for her to go to boarding school, however, she had originally envisioned one in the UK, where she has citizenship. Nevertheless, she eventually realized that she’d rather come to the U.S. because of its better “vibes,” as she had had an idealized version of the U.S. from media growing up, and so believed coming here would be “so fun.” Her sister, Michelle, has already been in the States for boarding school, and so when Nicole joined her in California in the fall of 2019, her parents bought a house near Los Angeles to live in America part-time, choosing a neighborhood near family friends with similar cultural backgrounds.
Like most boarding school students, Nicole Teh identifies with “two worlds.” While in Hong Kong her friends are mostly Asian, due to the diversity of Cate, she has become friends with students of all different ethnicities. She expresses how she’ll discuss with her Black or Asian friends about microaggressions, or joke together about stereotypes they’ve been assigned. While she finds Cate very inclusive and progressive, she has found herself experiencing racial discrimination outside the Cate bubble. She says that when she tells people she’s from Hong Kong they comment on how her English is really good, or question “Then why are you here?”, and that she’s even been asked if she eats dogs. Furthermore, because of stories she’s heard from her mom and other people who are Chinese about going through immigration, she gets very nervous with authorities, predominantly immigration officials, due to her race. When asked if she feels that racism has gotten “better” over these past four years of being here, she states, “It’s gotten better, or maybe I’ve just gotten used to it.” Nicole doesn’t really think about it anymore because it’s simply become a part of her life in America. Nevertheless, Nicole admits that her immigration experience has been significantly easier due to her wealth, and she acknowledges that it’s a privilege for her to come to the States for the reason of education.
For the most part, Nicole likes America and the people here. However, while she used to dream it was perfect because of how it was represented on television and online, living in the U.S. has complicated her feelings about the country because she’s experienced social issues regarding discrimination. Furthermore, she finds that American society is not sustainable due to its consumerism and consistent efforts in city building. In the future, she sees herself living in the UK because that’s where she has citizenship, thus it’s a place she knows she can go. She wouldn’t return to Hong Kong because of the intense politics there, and would only stay in the U.S. if she found work that offered her a Visa.
Even while living in the U.S., Nicole has been able to keep traditions and practices from home. Cate’s Asian Student Union celebrations are familiar to her and remind her of life in Hong Kong. She enjoys decorating her room for Chinese New Year, eating traditional foods, ASU dinners, and random celebrations of Chinese culture – “basically anything with food and coming together with people.” She reflects that she enjoys these traditions because they make her happy and remind her of home, saying, “With two different worlds, I’ll always miss Hong Kong a little bit while I’m here, so it’s nice to feel like I can kind of have them both at the same time.” She comments how she’d like to keep these traditions in her future family and pass them on to her children, such as eating certain foods and cooking with certain recipes. Nicole appreciates the little things, like picking decorations with her mom, as well as the customs in Asian cultures such as being polite, welcoming, and giving gifts. Furthermore, she plans on passing down the language of Mandarin to her future children.
When asked about her identity, Nicole says she would say Asian and an international student, however, the line kind of blurs because she’s lived here for four years and will stay for four more. Yet, she says “I would never claim to be American because I don’t have citizenship,” and since she has heard “horror stories” about the U.S. citizenship process, she doesn’t feel it’s worth it to become an American citizen. When asked about the “petals” of her identity, she states: Asian, lesbian, international student, upper-middle class, and woman. When asked which she feels the “most” of, she says that it depends on the situation. She states that she feels Asian all the time, but also feels connected to being queer, and to being a woman, especially because of living in a girls’ dorm and being a part of girls’ groups like the swim team. When reflecting on such experiences at Cate, she says, “Cate is a really good community. Right now, I see Cate as home. When people ask me where’s home, I say Cate. I don’t feel I’m truly from Hong Kong anyway and don’t feel fully at home in the U.S. because I didn’t grow up here and don’t have citizenship. But at Cate, I can kind of feel both – I feel like they’re so many different backgrounds and stories at Cate that I feel like I belong.” From growing up in Hong Kong to moving to the United States, Nicole has found a snippet of home on the Mesa.
Thanks for sharing Nicole's story, Tatiana. And thank you, Nicole, for being open to having it shared!