The Struggles of Being an Idealist

Chau Anh Vu ‘23

Idealists are often really passionate about their causes, so passionate that they often put the weight of all social issues on their shoulders and feel that they don’t deserve a break until their mission is accomplished. However, it does not have to be this way.

As an idealist, I love envisioning the world at its best. On the Mesa, that means I like to think about what it would be like if everyone felt accepted and included on campus. I wonder what it would be like if every Cate student was genuinely excited to attend classes and do homework rather than studying simply for a 4.0 GPA. I envision how amazing it would be if every student received enough guidance and support to feel fulfilled and happy.

Outside of Cate, being an idealist means that I enjoy thinking about what it would be like if everyone received the mental health care that they need. It pains me to see how many of my friends have to convince their parents that mental health issues actually exist in order to receive treatment. I also spend a great deal of my time contemplating how marvelous it would be if no one were to suffer from abject poverty. Every day, I encounter news articles about families struggling to make ends meet, with kids who are just my age that have to drop out and find a job to financially support their loved ones. I can’t help but remember how sad they all look in interviews, always saying something along the lines of: “I love going to school, but my parents need me at home to work and earn money.” Shutting down my phone after watching those interviews, I always find myself thinking about what I can do to help them.

What you just see above is the daily thought process of an idealist like me. Idealists love envisioning a better world, one that is not consistent with reality. Perhaps that is why we are often viewed as naive and impractical. But idealists are not idle dreamers; we are willing to go to great lengths to achieve our visions. It’s our hopes of a better world that inspires us to take action. We know that the world is an imperfect place--there is no doubting that. But unlike the majority of people, we do hold hope in an ideal society despite its current faults. As a result, others are often skeptical when we talk about their vision and plans for the future. They criticize us as naive and quixotic. Sadly, idealists are not immune to this negativity; the constant judgment and criticism that society puts on idealists often make them doubt themselves too. Personally, I also felt unsure of myself when I first realized that I was an idealist. Self-doubt started creeping up on me on the day when I told my parents that I wanted to work in the social sector when I grew up. I was in ninth grade and was so glad that I finally had a sense of what I wanted to do with my life, but my parents were clearly not as excited. In fact, they seemed somewhat concerned when I told them about my dream job. They said: “Why the social sector though? You probably will not make a lot of money in that area, you know that.” I remember having to convince them that I will try my best to ensure that my salary will be as much as the effort that I will put into my work, that I may be a social entrepreneur and can actually earn a lot of money. While I understand my parents’ concern about me having a different passion from them, their skepticism makes me wonder if I will one day regret not choosing a more lucrative career when I am in my 30s and struggling to make ends meet -- something that I may not have to face if I decide to be a banker like my parents. Deep inside my heart, however, I know that I will regret it more if I don’t choose to follow my dreams.

“I will do what I want to do.” -- I finally told my parents to end the whole discussion about career and future. My voice was loud and confident. I needed to convince them, and myself, that I am going to do the right thing.

It took me a few weeks to stop doubting myself when my friends or my parents said that I was impractical or naive. Instead of dwelling on their criticism, I started working hard to do what I can to create a positive change in my community and even beyond. As a student, it means starting or getting involved in clubs and organizations that aim to make meaningful changes. Even though I love what I am doing, I must admit that I often feel exhausted having to fulfill those commitments on top of Cate’s workload. Like many people here at Cate, I often force myself to complete whatever I need to do despite how tired and unwell I feel that day. While I used to think that burning out is worth it if it means I am more productive, I have now realized that there is nothing inspirational about working to the point of exhaustion. And while everyone can suffer from burnout, psychologists have shown that the problem is a much more common issue among idealistic people. Idealists are often really passionate about their causes, so passionate that they often put the weight of all social issues on their shoulders and feel that they don’t deserve a break until their mission is accomplished. However, it does not have to be this way. We dreamers need to understand that as humans, we need breaks to stay happy, healthy, and productive. Social issues are never solved quickly, and if we don’t allow ourselves to have a rest, we are likely to ruin our physical and mental well-being while trying to create some positive change in the world.

Another issue that idealistic people often have to face is loneliness: one that does not result from a lack of friendship, but rather from feeling that no one, or only a few people, can truly understand you. So many times my family and friends simply nodded or said “sounds good” after I poured my heart out and passionately told them about my visions for the future. I was disappointed, of course, but I also understand that this kind of loneliness is common for many other dreamers. After all, everyone has different priorities and concerns in their lives. This is especially true when you are still in high school when most of your friends seem to care about things other than making a positive change in the world. Being an idealist means being different, and being different has often meant feeling lonely. Unlike the burnout problem, I don’t think I have an answer to this issue. Personally, I choose to learn to accept this feeling as a part of my life. Maybe I will encounter more like-minded people as I grow up, or maybe not. Let’s wait and see.

With all of the struggles of being an idealistic person, it’s easy to understand why many people choose not to be one. Yet, idealists have been vital to the social progress of humanity. For example, it’s thanks to Abraham Lincoln, who historians agree was an idealist, that slavery was abolished in the United States (Christian Science Monitor, “Lincoln Led America with Ideas and Ideals). As an idealistic person, he must have envisioned how wonderful it would be if all men were free. It must be infuriating and heart-wrenching for him to see how much pain black people had to endure simply for their skin color. But he, as well as all the courageous people who fought against slavery, was able to turn their vicarious pain and frustration into strength to stand up against the brutally racist system. There must be times when they doubted themselves, wondered if they were fighting a losing battle if they were naive and impractical in striving to achieve the unachievable. However, they did not let others and self-doubt stop them from doing what was right. And the rest, as we all know, is history. But their work, and the work of the million others striving toward a more free, equal, is yet to be finished. Innumerable people have to live in abject poverty. Millions of students from all over the world don’t get a chance to go to school, or if they do, they are not happy with the education that they receive. The Earth is burning. Racism and misogyny are rampant. The good news is that there are always things we can do to help. Remember that your action does not have to be exceptional to be meaningful.

Keep your heads high, idealists. The world needs people like you.