Caroline Keohane '24
I remember when I was little the absolute terror that I felt ordering food. We've all been there, but as I have grown and gained confidence I can now say what I want without freaking out. I gained confidence and knew that I knew what I was doing. Confidence isn't something that a lucky few are born with, it is developed through actions and thoughts that you have control over.
So, confidence, self-esteem, whatever you want to call it. It can mean different things to different people but what really is this abstract idea of “confidence” that informs everything we do in the world?
Oxford dictionary defines confidence as “a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities,” but does that encompass everything?
No matter what confidence means to you, there is no doubt that having confidence is an essential skill that can help you thrive in the world. We have all heard the saying, “fake it till you make it.” But is it really that easy? Can you fake confidence? Does confidence even help?
We are bred to be brimming with confidence in our abilities from the time that we are children receiving participation trophies and gold stars so that we are proud of ourselves but why do we value this social skill so much when it essentially plays no role in someone's actual abilities.
Now, by confidence I do not mean boasting your abilities and being arrogant, I mean the quiet inner knowledge that you are capable of anything.
This knowledge matters because doing hard things that put us out of our comfort zone is how we make meaningful changes that better our life, doing these difficult things requires a lot of confidence. This is why confident people are the ones living amazing, full lives that we all want because they have the confidence to make changes and shape their life into what they want them to be.
When we show confidence in what we are doing or saying, it makes others trust us. No one is going to question you if you definitively say something, even if you really have no idea what you are talking about. As people, we are drawn to assertive leaders, we trust them to do the right thing, so if we have confidence in ourselves, others will be confident in us as well.
So, for all you who are not buying into the “just change the way you think and it will change your life” stuff, there is some scientific research behind confidence. In an experiment done by Stephen Flemming at the University of London, he asked participants who were hooked up to an MRI machine to determine which color was brighter when given very similar options. This experiment was set up so that each participant got the same amount of correct answers. However, when asked to rate how confident they were in their answers, many of the participants answered differently. When analyzing this experiment it was shown that when asked about their confidence the parts of the brain active were gray-matter volume in the right anterior prefrontal cortex and the white matter in the prefrontal cortex. So while we are not sure how it is clear that confidence resides in the brain and we can always change and rewire our brain and its connections to be more confident the way that we do math to become better problem solvers we just need to work on exercising the confidence muscles in our brains.
Confidence is a complex concept and our identities can play a role in how confident we are. This especially relates to the gender inequalities seen in the modern world. A study done at Cornell showed that while both men and women perform the same when answering questions before performing a task, men overestimated their abilities and performance while women underestimated. A new term has also recently been coined for low confidence in your abilities called “imposter syndrome” and this is where people feel that they do not deserve the recognition they receive and stems from low confidence. This is much more prominent in women, especially those in male-dominated fields such as STEM. An interesting representation of this from Forbes says that when applying for positions men will apply if they only meet 60% of the qualifications, while women will often only apply if they meet 100% of the qualifications. And if what I said above holds, that confidence can change your life, a lack of confidence in women because of the continued internalized and external misogyny they experience could be detrimental to their quality of life and the things they accomplish.
So while I have told you why it's good to be confident, why is it so bad to not be confident? Why should you work so hard on yourself to be more confident? Low self-esteem can cause many negative side effects, some that you may not even think about. Being unconfident can cause obvious things like self-hatred because you often feel that you are not good enough. It can even lead to things such as excessive people-pleasing where you don't live a life to please yourself and are constantly doing things for others because you believe that you do not deserve to do things for yourself. This can be detrimental to the life you lead because if you are not confident you are not going to pursue the things that make you happy leaving you unfulfilled.
What’s Wrong with Being Confident? Nothing.
Now, hopefully, I've convinced you that confidence is essential, but now it is time for me to enlighten you on how to be more sure of yourself. Being confident takes work and the foundation to be able to put that effort in is a healthy lifestyle. Doing things such as spending time on self-care such as exercising and meditation can boost confidence because they provide a sense of accomplishment. Getting to know yourself is also an essential step toward being more confident. Oftentimes as people we strive to be like others and be trendy, but if that is not what makes you happy then you will not feel confident about your life. You must understand what is important to you and how you want to be perceived because it is when you achieve those personal wants that you can gain confidence in your individuality. To gain self-esteem it is also essential to be giving back to others. Volunteering or even random acts of kindness give us a feeling of purpose and make us feel human. These things can help you with feeling more self-assured in who you are because you are getting to stop and notice what others are going through in life. Finally, the “fake ‘till you make it” is actually somewhat scientifically sound. The article “A Meta-Analysis of Facial Feedback Literature'' says that with a group of 138 test subjects it was found that the simple act of smiling can increase your mood on a chemical level. This is because our brains and bodies have a reciprocal relationship. If we are feeling a certain emotion, our body is triggered to act a certain way because of it and it also works vice versa so if our body is in a certain position, the chemicals in our brain are firing for that emotion. So, stand tall with your head up and shoulders back because you got this! Are you really going to let all the positive effects of confidence that I've talked about going to waste when it is as easy as faking a smile?
I mean think about it, why are you even paying attention or believing what I am saying to you right now? It is in my delivery, in the way my words gain your attention, it is about the confidence.
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