Carly Weinberger '23
This winter will be one of chilly weather, ill intentions, and so many progressions in love lives that even the stars are having trouble keeping track. But do not fear. Your fate is already written! So long as you follow the advice of my universe-given gift of horoscope writing, you should make it through and into the warm springtime. But for now, prepare to be tested by the influences of the winter solstice (December 21st), Capricorn season (beginning December 22nd), the movement of Jupiter through the fifth house, and quite a few retrogrades throughout January. Regardless of your sun sign, I suggest bundling up in preparation for a cold, cold season.
Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
To survive this Capricorn season, you must stay close to a Gemini. With a rise in overwhelming stress, your distrust of others, and loneliness at the winter solstice, only the charisma of a Gemini can combat your seasonal depression. The only wrong response to your desires would be to ignore them. Geminis are hard to come by, and your favorite one is about to find something good that will undo the work that you have put in to seduce them. Snatch them up before it can happen.
As Venus enters retrograde, there will be a secret admirer attracted to your disposition. They are not the one for you, so ignore your instincts and let them down softly. You, more than anyone, know what it is like to have your heart broken.
Lastly, when you are elected to a position of leadership this February, know that you are the right person for the job, even when a Pisces or a Cancer tells you that you aren’t. Don’t listen to those who are jealous of your generosity and strength.
Notable Aries this season: Lil Nas X, Ashtray, Joe Goldberg
Spirit Animal: Water buffalo
Special numbers: 17, 19, 56
Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
Watch out for Libras this season. While you only seek innocent love, they crave what you cannot provide, leading to a lonely, cold winter. Do not despair. It is in the quiet moments that you will find the rewards you deserve. If you wish to forgo that warning, seek out a Scorpio for a bit of excitement.
You are known for your patience and empathy, but with Capricorn season putting an end to Sag season’s warmth, prepare to have your limits tested. There is someone with a grudge who is sick of falling for your act, and when they reveal themselves mid-January as Uranus, Venus, and Mercury are thrown into retrograde, you may find yourself needing that Scorpio comfort. Take care of yourself, as this season will test the very bones of your patience. If you play it smart, you will end up stronger.
Notable Tauri this season: Homer Simpson, Cher, Bilbo Baggins
Spirit Animal: Red panda
Special numbers: 12, 18, 64
Gemini
May 21 - Jun 20
You are known for your warmth and generosity, but this season will test your limits. With Mars entering retrograde, you will find yourself tense and passive where you used to find comfort. But don’t be discouraged, as your Aries friends will need you even at your worst this winter. Take a bubble bath to recalibrate.
This season will be most interesting where your love life is concerned. Jupiter entering the fifth house warns you to avoid Pisceans, who will be extra Piscesy just when you can’t take it any more. But you won’t miss with Leos this winter! Capricorn season will cool down their wild side just enough for you two to become a perfect fit. Get ready to pull some lions. Rawr.
Notable Gems this season: Olaf, Morgan Freeman, Awkwafina
Spirit Animal: Gazelle
Special numbers: 14, 27, 38
Cancer
Jun 21 - Jul 22
You, sweet Cancer, are in for a trip during this winter season. As the serious and demanding nature of Capricorn season rolls in, you will find yourself struggling to keep up. There is no room for the soft-hearted during the winter solstice. Seek out your closest Pisces friend to get through these harsh months together.
Something good will find you in January as Venus enters retrograde. Perhaps you have been looking for the moment to break things off, or else refuse to consider what it is that you need in a relationship. Either way, your hardship will come to an end as Venus’ strong pull of love and pleasure sends you into a whole new romance, likely with a Libra. Enjoy it, as it probably won’t last very long.
You may overthink big decisions this season. Try not to overshare with strangers, as their answers will only throw off what you know. Don’t take your temper out on those more fortunate.
Notable Cancers this season: Dobby, Camila Mendes, Jay Gatsby
Spirit Animal: Clam
Special numbers: 11, 73, 95
Leo
Jul 23 - Aug 22
Winter isn’t ideal for the fiery Leo style, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find some fun in melting the snow. That is what you are best at: warming frozen hearts. A certain Earth sign may be needing just that as they face the stress of Capricorn season. This is a time to share your passion and love with others, as that is the only way to keep yourself sane this winter.
Your life is about to get tricky. While you have many admirers, you seem to have trouble understanding your own feelings. Don’t let anyone (especially any Gems) take advantage of your confusion. You are better off following your brain than your heart if you wish to find love this season.
You await big news this December, whether you know it or not. As the winter solstice marks the coldest, darkest day of the year, your fire sign soul might seem snuffed out. You must cling on to hope, especially if the news is not what you desire. You will find small pockets of warmth in the cold if you allow yourself to search for them.
You are also unlikely to ever become famous in a meaningful way. Enjoy the frivolous lifestyle of the undeserving rich!
Notable Leos this season: Patrick Star, Mother Gothel, Alfred Hitchcock
Spirit Animal: Bullfrog
Special numbers: 7, 35, 51
Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22
Dearest Virgo. You are the luckiest of the signs this upcoming winter season. Expect great news, coming in as Jupiter enters the fifth house and abundance reigns. You are smart, sophisticated, and ever so passionate. You, a romantic, have eyes for only one, and they will see those positive traits when the winter solstice leaves them craving warmth.
You have the highest standards. Expect the people in your life to fit those expectations as Capricorn season demands their best. But it is time to let new friends in as well. Allow them to tear down your walls. You may even change someone’s life.
You will spend this season floating on a cloud, but don’t get too comfortable. As springtime blooms, you will be left with your normal frustration. Enjoy the gifts that Jupiter gives you, but be ready when the seemingly far-off Pisces season snatches them away in late February.
Notable Virgos this season: Adam Sandler, Mr. Bean, Zendaya
Spirit Animal: Hawk
Special numbers: 8, 42, 62
Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 22
Ah, Libra. You are the balance, the calm, the scale. But this winter a major turning point in your life will push you out of equilibrium. As Capricorn season rolls in, it may be time to rethink your priorities. What are you putting off? If there is something that you continually choose to ignore, it is likely that you will end up burnt out and frustrated by the month of February.
Seek out a Cancer man if you crave happiness, but avoid Taurus women. With Jupiter entering the fifth house, there is a chance of careless risks going awry if you choose the wrong company. It is in your best interest to befriend a Capricorn to guide you through their cold but always well-meaning season.
Look into your rising sign’s horoscope for information that will clear up the uncertainties currently plaguing your mind.
Notable Libras this season: Josh Hutcherson, Princess Jasmine, Eminem
Spirit Animal: Black swan
Special numbers: 1, 11, 111
Scorpio
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Scorps. You are both dark and mysterious, but as the snowy season commences, it may be time to lighten up. The fifth house reigns over leisure and creativity, and as the optimistic Jupiter enters, it is time to indulge yourself. But be careful. As a water sign you are adaptable, yet too easily sucked into unhealthy cycles. It is time to set goals for who you wish to become in order to avoid any past mistakes resurfacing.
Consider celebrating Capricorn season with a Taurus. Known for their empathy and sturdiness, they will be exactly what you need as this winter season throws you off balance with moments that defy your understanding. Lastly, calm down your romantic side. While you can expect your love life to be as dry as it gets for these next few months, you may find someone looking for just a bit of fun.
Notable Scorps this season: Lil Peep, King Charles III (long may he reign), Charlie Brown
Spirit Animal: Snowy owl
Special numbers: 36, 56, 68
Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
You are expecting news within this winter, but try not to get your hopes up too high. As the Earth exits Sagittarius season, you lose some of the wisdom, abundance, and luck that you are so well known for. But Capricorn season will bring a new rebirth. For you Sags, that means that you will not get the news that you are hoping for, but still nothing as bad as a worst case scenario.
This season will be one of change; you can expect extreme shifts in your love life. This could be in the form of new love rising (look for an Aquarius ;) ) or in a crash-and-burn break up. For those both single and uninterested, watch out for a Virgo man to change your life in unexpected but platonic ways. And remember, with Uranus entering retrograde, you must be careful in trusting fellow Sags. You don’t have each other's best interests at heart.
Notable Sags this season: Captain Jack Sparrow, Loki, Baby Ariel
Spirit Animal: Blue jay
Special numbers: 16, 29, 87
Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
This winter season will be an especially busy yet rewarding time for you Caps. Entering your very own Capricorn season in late December will lead to a surge in productivity and a fresh start for relationships. There will be trouble arising as Jupiter leaves the fourth house and enters the fifth. The loss of a connection to home will bring light to a disturbance in your family during the holiday season. Don’t let them rile you up; stay cool by immersing yourself in the online world.
Despite this, you must avoid online dating at all costs. Your no-nonsense approach to life doesn’t fit with the causality of an online dating experience. Either force relaxation or learn to appreciate yourself for who you are. When Venus begins its retrograde in late January, you must focus on self love.
This is a season in which you will find new connections, especially if you meet a Libra. Even the winter solstice can’t slow you down when you are going after what you want, and with a Libra on your side, you will be unstoppable.
Happy birthday Caps!!
Notable Caps this season: Al Capone, Sherlock Holmes, Cersei Lanister
Spirit Animal: Dragonfly
Special numbers: 19, 22, 26
Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
You Aquarians are easygoing, breezy, and unique. But this season will be full of harsh surprises for all air signs, you included. Most will not affect you significantly, but perhaps one will be your undoing. It is likely that you will be called out when your unflappability breaks around December 21st. The winter solstice will freeze your game! But some time with a Sagittarius will heat you right back up ;).
Seek out the authenticity in yourself. Your ruling planet Uranus enters retrograde this January, meaning that you must discover who you are past your shell. If you do not open up before you crack under the pressure of Capricorn season, it is entirely possible that those close to you will drift away and towards Cancers, who aren't afraid of vulnerability. Stay away from Pisceans for any chance of a calm winter. It isn’t your strong suit to deal with never-ending tears.
Notable Aquarians this season: Gucci Mane, Luna Lovegood, Remy the rat
Spirit Animal: Blue whale
Special numbers: 6, 48, 100
Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
Something is smelling fishy this winter season. It is probably you. You have a great intuition, but the time will soon come when you must learn to ignore it. You tend to be secretive, keeping both deep secrets and frivolous information from your loved ones. You need to dismiss that instinct as Jupiter enters the fifth house. If you fail to do so, you may cause chaos in your relationships. Be cautious of the Jupiter-Pisces transit, which will cause your altruism to drain out. Be kind to your friends at this time. Those Cancers need your support.
In terms of your love life, things only become more complicated. Air signs will be your ruin, but if you stay in the water you will thrive. Other Pisceans, Cancers, and Scorpios have your best interests at heart. But it won’t be easy. Prepare for some extreme drama, ending in a big finale where you find true love, break up to three hearts, and face the wrath of Ben Williams!
Notable Pisceans this season: Willy Wonka, Mad Hatter, Shrek
Spirit Animal: Thanksgiving turkey
Special numbers: 3, 13, 33
Comments